Law Enforcement Encounters 101
Monday, December 1st 2003
Location: The Central Business District, somewhere between Mama Ngina Street and City Hall Way
I am lugging a heavy bagful of books.
“Tssss! Tssss!”
Ignore.
Many people say 'tssss tsss' in the city centre.
At night it’s the hookers, by day it’s somebody trying to sell you a chinese watch and some very dodgy looking ganja.
“WEWE!!! NGOJA!!” [You!! Wait!!]
Ulp, it’s a fat policeman in fatigues – tapping my arm with a baton.
“Why didn’t you stop?”
Sorry, I had headphones on.
“What are you carrying in that bag?” poking my bag with the rubber
baton.
Books.
“Show me!”
You can check it yourself, I say handing the bag to him.
“WACHA!!! You open it and show me!” steps back warily
– probably thinks I ‘m carrying some explosive contraband.
I show the books to him – satisfied?
“Show me your ID!”
I show him my driving license.
“Hapana![No!] Your ID, you know ID?”
Damn, left it at home.
“Come with me!”
“Where are you from? Baghdaad??” he asks, leading me to a tin/steel
shed – that serves as the police post.
I should have had that haircut and shaven my beard, when I had the chance.
It’s a pleasant 30 degrees centigrade outside, but it’s a boiling
45 degrees underneath the tin roofed shed.
There’s another cop inside, lying slumped on a chair, in a heat induced
coma.
He wakes up, and stares at me with bleary eyes, and then starts to pick his
nose with a ballpoint pen.
I know I am in trouble, instantly.
A good-cop/bad-cop routine follows:
Comatose Cop:
It’s an extremely serious crime to walk around without proper
identification. VERY seriaaas.
Cop in fatigues:
But, he looks like a decent man (glances at me in a brotherly,
solicitous way). He just forgot.
Comatose Cop:
We have to take him to the police station to question him. (shakes
his head, glares at me with poorly disguised hostility)
Cop in fatigues:
We could let him go with a small “spot fine”.
Comatose Cop:
Aaaay, this maan is NOT carrying his ID (now addresses me directly, with
shocking belligerence) WHY are you walking here? WHERE are you going?
He wants to throw the book at me.
Think.
Think.
The hot steel walls are bare, except for a small taped cardboard cutout of the
Virgin Mary and baby Jesus. Only divine intervention can save me now.
I am going to err…umm… church. Yes! I am going to church – I reply with exaggerated confidence.
“What?” (both of them in chorus) “You go to church?!”
Yes, sir, I am actually getting late for mass.
They look incredulously at me, and then at each other.
I start repeating a fairly accurate rendition of Psalm 23 (3 years
of convent schooling, finally paid out after all these years)
“The lord is my shepherd; I shall not want…..”
Comatose Cop, all befuddlement and suspicion, interrupts my sermon:
“Which church do you go to?”
The "lighthouse" church of Gikomba.
What I am suggesting is so preposterous, that he actually believes me.
(Gikomba is a huge open-air, second-hand goods market – a place, which for some unspeakable reason is considered a no-go for foreigners.)
A bit reluctantly, they set me free.
“Carry your ID next time…” with mild malevolence.
“God bless you officers…”
They look embarrassed.
I switch on Massive Attack and head for a beer.
Comments
no subject
by Kingsley on Monday, December 1st at 11:55 AMSee your barbecued ass in hell, my friend!
no subject
by Joe Litton on Monday, December 1st at 10:57 PMI love your posts. I'm in the NW corner of the continental United States (Washington state). Thank you so much for offering these glimpses into life in Africa. This particular post illustrates why it is always important to pay attention to one's surroundings :-) ...My first 9 years of schooling were at the hands of rather violent nuns, so you also have my coldolences for your time spent in convent schooling. Cheers.
no subject
by Ravages on Tuesday, December 2nd at 08:51 AMSubstitue Heavy bullet at traffic signal for tin-shed, Mariamma for the Virgin Mary, Tamil for Swahili(I am guessing there) and this is where everybody sits up and pays attention, me for you... You have a typical day out of ChandraChoodan's life
no subject
by Ashok on Tuesday, December 2nd at 09:10 AMKing:
See you there then, sometime in the distant future..... ;0)
>See your barbecued ass in hell, my friend!
--Ashok
hello Joe:
by Ashok on Tuesday, December 2nd at 09:13 AMglad to see you around!
Well what do you know...if you can survive convent school you can survive anywhere!
I bet they send the Navy SEALS and the SAS there for survival training (but they just wont admit it...)!
cheers
Ashok
hey ravages:
by Ashok on Tuesday, December 2nd at 09:21 AMyeah those "mamas" from madras... after them everything seems easy :)
--Ashok
no subject
by Gandalf on Wednesday, December 3rd at 12:49 PMI've had a few close calls with army patrols back in the early 90's not much with cops. Those times were just too scary... guess I was lucky to not be interrogated.
no subject
by Synonymous Mutation on Wednesday, December 3rd at 11:56 PMpolice everywhere are the same, i think...
no subject
by dinesh on Monday, December 8th at 07:56 AMthat's hilarious. maybe the next time the cops try to 'spot -fine' me, i will say i'm going to church :)
no subject
by asics on Friday, March 25th at 02:19 AMZuichen consigned to limbo <a href="http://www.asicsshoesmart.org/onitsuka-tiger-ultimate-81-c-5_16.html">Onitsuka Tiger Ultimate</a>, fragrant vegetarian daughter go inside .<br>
nike air max
by nike air max on Friday, March 25th at 02:24 AM<p>A friend emailed this link the other day and I am desperately hoping for your next blog post. <a href="http://www.shoesboxs.com/">air max shoes</a> Continue the truly amazing work.so I will heed your comments and begin to do anything about it.
louis vuitton outlet
by louis vuitton outlet on Monday, March 28th at 11:53 PMIf you are from the UK, or have ever visited a bar in the UK then you will no doubt have discovered the <a href="http://www.louisvuittonoutlet4.com">louis vuitton store</a> of the traditional British fruit machine. These <a href="http://www.louisvuittonoutlet4.com">louis vuitton outlet</a> from casino slots, in that they have holds, nudges and a feature board, and although originally these machines used fruit symbols (hence the name) modern variants have all sorts of symbols, although the traditionally bells, bars and cherries still remain on many machines.
<a href="http://www.louisvuittonoutlet4.com/louis-vuitton-black-damier-gold-zipper-handbag-p-438.html">louis vuitton evening bags</a> is Microgamings version of a traditional British fruit machine – although it is not entirely authentic as it does not have a number trail and a full feature board, like proper fruit machines. However it does share some of the features, namely holds and nudges, multipliers and a trail, <a href="http://www.louisvuittonoutlet4.com/louis-vuitton-damier-whisper-handbags-p-447.html">louis vuitton leather bags</a> an additional extra – a free bonus darts games.
Replica Swiss Watches
by Replica Swiss Watches on Monday, April 25th at 02:18 AMThis is usually an outstanding opportunity to match your needs to shop for jewelries and watches not having any risk.
chanel watches
by chanel watches on Friday, April 29th at 11:24 PMchanel watches http://www.chanelwatchesale.com/
chanel ladies watches http://www.chanelwatchesale.com/chanel-ladies-watch-c-30.html
chanel J12 http://www.chanelwatchesale.com/
chanel replica watches http://www.chanelwatchesale.com/
chanel mens watches http://www.chanelwatchesale.com/chanel-mens-watches-c-31.html
no subject
by jack wills on Wednesday, May 4th at 08:58 PMThanks i like your blog very much , i come back most days to find new posts like this.
no subject
by Jack wills on Thursday, May 5th at 04:56 AMThanks i like your blog very much , i come back most days to find new posts like this.
Coach Purses
by Coach Purses on Sunday, May 8th at 11:09 PMthank you!
Givenchy jewelry
by Givenchy jewelry on Monday, May 9th at 01:35 AMOf all the couture houses Givenchy is the one that continually produces the most awe-inspiring collections in my eyes at least.
maison martin margiela
by maison martin margiela on Thursday, May 12th at 11:32 PMn his first winter collection, displayed in 1988, shards from broken plates had been worked into shirts.
Gucci Jewelry
by Gucci Jewelry on Saturday, May 14th at 02:41 AMMust it be a box for years or just for her early childhood?
Cheap MLB Jerseys
by Cheap MLB Jerseys on Monday, May 16th at 02:14 AMWe themed the party as a club soccer party. Costume was any club jersey. We had pennants and jerseys at the park with club posters on boards.
ann demeulemeester
by ann demeulemeester on Thursday, May 19th at 11:16 PMCheck out these tops created by Ann Demeulemeester, Antonio Marras, Dsquared2, Kitsuné, Maison Martin Margiela, Marni, Moschino, and Y-3 in collaboration with online retailer Yoox.
Birkenstock Online
by sidney on Monday, May 23rd at 02:56 AMHere are <a href="http://www.usabirkenstocks.com" title="birkenstock shoe on sale">birkenstock shoe on sale</a> we supplied,in this page you can get more infor mation of our <a href="http://www.usabirkenstocks.com" title="birkenstock sandals">birkenstock sandals</a>.There are more choose for you.We manufacture and supply <a href="http://www.usabirkenstocks.com" title="birkenstock store">birkenstock store</a> with low price and high quality.Seaching in google,you can find our products a good sale home and abroad.If our <a href="http://www.birkenstockshoesonline.com" title="Birkenstock Online">Birkenstock Online</a> come up to your requirements,please contact us immediately.We would offer premium-priced <a href="http://www.cheapjimmychoo.com" title="Jimmy choo handbag">Jimmy choo handbag</a> with fistclass services for you without delay.
cheap nike shox
by cheap nike shox on Tuesday, June 7th at 01:04 AM<a href="http://www.shoxtop.com/nike-shox-oz-womens-c-54.html"> Nike shox oz womens </a> are very popular in 2010! These shoes have very fine workmanship, they are from factory directly. 100% high quality and cheap price. In fact, the <a href="http://www.shoxtop.com/nike-shox-oz-womens-c-54.html"> cheap nike shox oz </a> is welcomed by many wholesalers and retailers from around the world. If order these items now, the larger discount can be allowed,save your money
nike shox r4 black/pink shoes for women
by cheap nike shox on Saturday, June 11th at 04:33 AMA month after the playoffs start, how wonderful it is public -- Memphis shock qualify, Ross and Kevin durant both showed up. However,<a
href="http://www.shoxtop.com/cheap-nike-shox-r4-womens-whitegreen-p-522.html">cheap nike shox r4 womens white/green</a> the lakers rout are the news headlines. Anger
-- the lakers vice President Johnson says the team should "thorough restructuring"; Conspiracy and violence linger - center Andrew bynum claims team appeared "trust
crisis".<a href="http://www.shoxtop.com/nike-shox-r4-black-pink-for-women-p-500.html">nike shox r4 black pink for women</a> Small forward RON artest was a one-match
ban, for he in the second game against Barry and use "clothesline" trick. The first four games, Lamar odom and bynum both was sent-off, <a
href="http://www.shoxtop.com/nike-shox-r4-black-red-womens-shoes-p-502.html">nike shox r4 black red womens shoes</a>the former for pushing nowitzki, the latter because
elbow Barry and. Even ferial the Jackson also no longer carefreely calm, hands on gasol's chest. Fiercely <a href="http://www.shoxtop.com/nike-shox-r4-blackpink-shoes
-for-women-p-511.html">nike shox r4 black/pink shoes for women</a>"Their expressions can tell me," mavs defender DE Sean Stevenson post-match says. "they are not in
state.
www.pen-montblanc.com
by Mont blanc Pens on Monday, June 13th at 03:34 AMThanks for sharing all this great information. I am going to social bookmark this for sure.
Women's Clothing
by cheap Women's Clothing on Wednesday, June 15th at 03:37 AMIn 1890 BaiLi/BaBaoLi <a href="http://www.usajordanshops.com/goods-35140-wholesale-versace-t-shirts.html">Women's T-Shirts</a>(at) the dust coat has been designed for the trend of the minibook. A and after the war, dust coat more become numerous star celebrity big love, including Audrey Hepburn and the shadow of a drive north Africa male leading role heng, Humphrey Bogart and actress which starred Ingrid <a href="http://www.usajordanshops.com/goods-35139-wholesale-versace-t-shirts.html">Women's T-Shirts</a> brand in 1901 of the creation of trademark symbol of knight become known.
nice service
by mangosugars on Friday, June 17th at 06:17 AM<p><strong><em><strong><strong><strong>Our <a href="http://www.sale-brandshoes.com/"><em><strong>Nike Air Max</strong></em></a><a href="http://www.airmaxonline.net"></a> company sales many kinds of <a href="http://www.sale-brandshoes.com/"><em><strong>Nike Air Max</strong></em></a><a href="http://www.airmaxonline.net"></a> shoes, these including Nike Air Max 2003, <a href="http://www.sale-brandshoes.com/"><em><strong>Nike Air Max 2009</strong></em></a><a href="http://www.airmaxonline.net"></a> , Nike Air Max 247, <a href="http://www.sale-brandshoes.com/"><em><strong>Nike Air Max 2010</strong></em></a><a href="http://www.airmaxonline.net"></a>, Nike Air Max 87, Nike Air Max 90, <a href="http://www.sale-brandshoes.com/"><em><strong>Nike Air Max 95</strong></em></a><a href="http://www.airmaxonline.net"></a>, or other Nike Shox, Nike Free Shoes, these Shoes are all sell at a very low price, and the quality are assured. With so many Air Max Shoes we have got, we supply a variety of choices to our dear costumers; and we believed these shoes can apply almost every costumer's demand. These Shoes can be shipped to the USA, the UK, Canada, and other European countries, and are still growing. Because of our nice service and good quality of the products, we have attracted a large number of customers, and established long-term cooperation with some of them. We are now enjoying the trust of our customers from many countries. Start your way of buying a Nike shoes now!</strong></strong></strong></em></strong></p>
Our nice service for you
by mangosugars on Friday, June 17th at 06:18 AMWelcome to our site,
http://www.sale-brandshoes.com/
buy the shoes you like.You can find [url=http://www.sale-brandshoes.com/]Nike Air Max[/url], [url=http://www.sale-brandshoes.com/]Nike Air Shox[/url], [url=http://www.sale-brandshoes.com/category-96-b0-wholesale-cheap-vans-shoes.html]Vans shoes[/url], [url=http://www.sale-brandshoes.com/category-79-b0-wholesale-cheap-converse-shoes.html]Converse shoes[/url]. Please click on my name, this simple action may give you a surprise! Thank you.
supra shoes,supra footwear,justin bieber
by Supra shoes on Thursday, June 23rd at 03:25 AMit wins itself a place in the skateboard shoes field. Besides the pretty outward, every pair of Supra Shoes is made of selected materials and fine workmanship. There are a variety of Supra Shoes on our site, for example,Supra Skytop, Supra Vaider, Supra Society ,Justin Bieber Shoes, you can choose your favorite shoes here. What are you waiting for? Please catch this chance, don't let the stylish Supra Shoes run away from your eyes, wish you have a good time on our site!
Add your comment: